Poems
Limericks
A limerick is a clever and witty form of verse. It consists of five
short lines. The first two lines always rhyme with the fifth line. No
one knows who invented the form, but it takes its name from the city of
Limerick in Ireland. The English writer and artist Edward Lear made
limericks popular. His first book of poems, A Book of Nonsense (1846),
contained more than two hundred humorous limericks.
There was an Old Man who said, “Do Tell me how I should add two and
two?
I think more and more
That it makes about four—
But I fear that is almost too few.”
author unknown
There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, “It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen, Four Larks and a Wren
Have all built their nests in my beard.” by Edward Lear
A cheerful Old Bear at the Zoo Could always find something to do.
When it bored him to go
On a walk to and fro, He reversed it, and walked fro and to. author
unknown
There was a Young Lady of Crete, Who was so exceedingly neat,
When she got out of bed She stood on her head,
To make sure of not soiling her feet.
author unknown
There once was a Young Man named Hall Who fell in the spring in the
fall.
‘Twould have been a sad thing
Had he died in the spring, But he didn’t—he died in the fall.
author unknown
There was a Young Woman named Bright, Whose speed was much faster than
light.
She set out one day
In a relative way, And returned on the previous night.
author unknown
An epicure dining at Crewe
Once found a large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one, too!” author unknown
There was a Young Maid who asked, “Why
Can’t I look in my ear with my eye?
If I give my mind to it,
I’m sure I can do it,
You never can tell till you try.”
by Edward Lear
There was an Old Man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke in a fright
In the middle of the night
And found it was perfectly true.
author unknown
There was a Faith Healer of Deal, Who said, “Although pain isn’t real,
If I sit on a pin,
And it punctures my skin,
I dislike what I fancy I feel.”
author unknown
There was a Young Lady of Lynn,
Who was so uncommonly thin
That when she essayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in.
author unknown
An indolent vicar of Bray
Let his lovely red roses decay;
His wife, more alert,
Bought a powerful squirt,
And said to her spouse, “Let us spray.” author unknown
There was a Young Lady of Niger Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They came back from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger.
author unknown
There was an Old Person of Ware, Who rode on the back of a bear.
When they asked, “Does it trot?” He said, “Certainly not!
It’s a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!” by Edward Lear
The bottle of perfume that Willie sent Was highly displeasing to
Millicent.
Her thanks were so cold
That they quarreled, I’m told, Through that silly scent Willie sent
Millicent.
author unknown
A fly and a flea in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
“Let us fly!” said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
author unknown
