You and your school-age child
Between the ages of 5 and 8, most children are open, energetic, and easy
to get along with. Perhaps that is why some parents and teachers tend to
coast along with them. Some mothers and fathers—frustrated and
exasperated with older children in the family—take refuge in these
easy-to-manage children. They can easily lose sight of the fact that the
early school years can serve as a foundation for good preteen and
teen-age behavior. Here are some suggestions for making the most of the
early school years.
Tailor your expectations to fit children’s abilities. Then the children
will be encouraged to go on learning. They will not become discouraged
because they cannot meet unrealistic goals.
Emphasize the positive, stressing the things children can do and not
overemphasizing achievement, especially in school. Children should not
be told that they have to be the best. Instead, they should be told to
try to do their best.
Children should not be given rewards for grades. This makes them believe
they must always be compensated for doing well. If you think your
children can do better work in school, discuss the problem with the
teachers. Teachers can help you determine gentle ways to help a child.
School-age children like stories and enjoy being read to, so you should
continue to read to your child. Reading by parents builds up
relationships that help make communication easier as the child grows
older.
Remember, also, that good communication requires that you be a good
listener. If your
child has something to say, take the time to listen, even if what the
child has to say seems of little importance at the time.
Help your child develop a sense of responsibility. Assign some
chores—drying dishes, taking the garbage out, making the bed, keeping
a clean room. Also, recognize and encourage responsible behavior by
praise. Remember that responsible behavior also includes such everyday
events as getting up and going to school and coming home promptly after
school.
Give the child choices in hobbies or extra activities. Do not force such
things as taking dancing or music lessons solely because other children
the same age are taking them. Respect the uniqueness and individuality
of your child.
Children need help that allows them to develop their own abilities. Too
much help may lead to overdependency. Too little help may result in
feelings of inadequacy or frustration. Give your child the right kind of
help. For example, if your child writes a letter and asks you for help
in spelling certain words, give the child help with only those words. Do
not rewrite, correct, or criticize the letter.
The most important way to help schoolage children be sucessful is to
accept them as they are and inspire them to become what they want to be.
And what do most children want? They want to be liked, to have
interesting work to do, and to be respected. This is human and
universal, and highly possible if the home and the school work together
to achieve this end.
