Common concerns
Spoiling
Young infants cannot be spoiled by too much love and attention. From the
parents’ response to their needs, they learn to feel secure and develop
good relationships with their parents. The notion that it is good for a
baby to cry just for the sake of crying is not a sound one.
It is natural for new babies to be the center of attention in their
families. During the first two years, they are dependent on their
parents. They are held, carried, fed, bathed, changed, and dressed. As
they grow, this physical dependence tapers off. Throughout the first
year, babies are carried or pushed in a stroller. At one year, they
begin to walk, but they are still carried or pushed much of the time.
But when they are 18 months or 2 years, they don’t want to be carried at
all. This progression is repeated over and over with feeding, bathing,
and dressing.
Parents who really are spoiling their children have a hard time “letting
go.” They are not willing to let the children do things for themselves,
even though the children are ready to do so.
Setting limits
Setting limits means setting up guidelines, which all children need. As
a parent, it is your responsibility to set reasonable limits. Often a
child’s negativism is merely a way of testing you to see if you are
being consistent.
Certain limits parents set are obvious. Do not let children crawl or
walk onto the street. Do not let them pound on a glass
door or window. Do not let children near a hot stove. These limits
protect children.
Other limits are less easy to set, but just as important. Parents should
establish a bedtime hour—not too early while babies are still playing
and alert, and not too late when they are irritable and overtired.
Parents should not be overrigid about the time. If children have had
longer naps than usual, they may not be ready for sleep at the regular
hour.
If successful, the guidelines parents set can serve as a basis for
children’s behavior throughout childhood.
Toilet training
Many parents want to know how early they can begin toilet training.
There is a natural desire to want a child “out of diapers.” However,
attempts at training too early can do more harm than good. They merely
set the stage for confrontations between parents and children, and for
mutual frustrations and anxieties.
In general, parents should wait until children have mastered walking
before attempting training. This usually occurs after 18 months. Bowel
control most often is attained before bladder control. Daytime bladder
control is generally attained before nighttime control. Girls are
usually toilet-trained earlier than boys. Since each child is different,
no single schedule should be expected to hold for any two children.
You will find further information on toilet training in Toddler section.
